love actually

There have been multiple debates lately over the movie "Love Actually" because it's the movies ten year anniversary. Some people can't get enough and consider it a Holiday classic and others think it's a terrible take on love that has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas. I fall somewhere in the middle. I enjoy it the same way I do any romantic comedy. It's heartwarming and hopeful but also unrealistic and contrived. So on that note I wanted to wax poetic for a moment and lament on what love actually is to me lately.

Love is staying in my pj's for the better part of the day, snuggling with my animal and watching cheesy movies.
Love is going to get Thai food on a chilly night and then ending up at my favorite dive. Running into new and old friends and talking movies over frosty mugs of beer.
Love is having an early Christmas lunch with my mom, exchanging gifts and spending the day together.
Love is knowing that your best friend is moving away and that no amount of space or time will ever break the connection you share.
Love is watching a coworker hand a panhandler on the side of the road a ten dollar bill because she hopes he'll use it to get a warm meal on a frigid day.


Go out and love, people.

a year in review

As you have seen on this blog, I have had a year of many ups and many downs. 30 was definitely not what I expected it to be but I have persevered. This year has proven my strength and I think that must be the best part of all that has happened. I also learned a lot about myself and why I have made the mistakes that I have made. I am at peace. For the most part anyway. Nothing is ever 100% but I feel generally better then I did last year at this time. I have never been a huge fan of change and I have generally shied away from anything that takes me out of my comfort zone but I am slowly taking risks and becoming braver. Things haven't always worked out in my favor but they have made me a more confident individual. I feel like I am becoming who I am supposed to me, a more authentic version of myself. In the upcoming year I am looking forward to more travel. I have a few trips planned (Africa, Paris) and I want to expand my horizon. I want to see the world and spend my money on experiences. I must say that it's been tough thinking about my future without having someone special in my life but I am totally good with being single and having close friends and family around. I will also plan on going to see concerts, plays, ballets and such. I will be seeing Chicago the night before my birthday which should be awesome. I'm also seeing a personal trainer that is going to help me get into better shape. No time like the present. Life is good, kids. Cheers to the future and the inevitable ups and downs that help us grow as individuals.

Oh Christmas tree

I've got to be honest and say that I don't particularly care for the holidays. When I was younger it was all about whose year it was to have us and the animosity between my parents. My life was broken up between two worlds and I don't think I ever got used to it. Hence, my dislike. Even though I feel this way, I try to force myself to get into the holiday spirit. I enjoy decorating and having friends over. I even got a real tree this year. They delivered it right to my door which is awesome. It's the prettiest tree I have ever seen. Here is my home:

happy thanksgiving to me

 We got back from Cabo on Sunday and as always it felt a little too soon. I was ready to come back to a certain extent but I'm never ready to come back to work. Cabo the second time around let me experience the city and downtown a little more. Staying on the Marina put you so close to the action but further away from the beach. While there I found a love for tequila. Especially reposado. We were regulars at Cabo Wabo by the time we left. We also ate at a restaurant on the beach called "The Office" and it was incredible. Flour tortillas made right in front of you and seafood so fresh if you put it to your ear, I bet you could hear the Ocean. It was quite exciting getting to see my best friend in action flying the jet. It was flawless. He is amazing. And I must say that it was nice getting to play pretend and act like one of the elites that could actually afford to take a private jet.  Here are some pics:

mexico part 2

 Tomorrow I will be jetting (literally) off to Cabo San Lucas with my best friend Allen and his husband. They had an extra seat on the jet that they fly and I was offered it. Of course I said yes!! Allen flew us to Austin a year and a half ago but it was on a prop plane. This will be my first experience actually flying in a private jet. I am quite excited and very honored that they wanted me to tag along. Right now in Cabo it is 77° and this time tomorrow I will be on a beach with a cocktail in hand. This is also the first year in a very long time that I won't be doing the traditional family get together. It's feels a little weird but I also like the idea of doing something out of the norm. I'd like to think when/if I have a family, that we can make our own traditions that include traveling. I hope everyone has a safe and fun Holiday. See you in December. I can't believe this year is almost over.

three years later

I just realized that I have been blogging for three years. It's interesting to see the progression of thoughts, feelings, ideas and styles. Perhaps that's why I like this form of expression. It doesn't matter who actually reads it but it's more about being able to see the ups and downs this way. It's basically an online journal but with unlimited creativity. Unlike the ol pen and paper, you will never lose a blog. It won't ever crash. It doesn't need to be backed up. It will be here until... well.... (insert any dooms day, world ending, Armageddon scenario here) As much as I bitch about the affects on our culture with all of this technology at our fingertips, I must admit that it's pretty fucking cool. So cheers to blogging and technology and keeping a healthy balance between actually living your life and tweeting/posting/checking in/surfing/goggling/downloading.

karma part 2

I was talking to a coworker about my thoughts on karma a few days ago and he brought up an excellent point. Does taking pleasure in ones karmic returns equal bad karma for you? He used the word schadenfreude, which is German and means pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. He takes martial arts classes and has talked to his teacher on occasion about such things. His teacher said that people do too much thinking, that it's really quite simple; "play nice, do good." I would like to say that I could train myself to be that simplistic but I know how messy/complicated life can be. Sometimes I think about moving to the mountains or living with monks and learning to quiet the mind. I think it would be amazing to have an experience like that. It would completely change your perspective on everything. No more worrying about money or time or possessions or anything frivolous. I know my liver would thank me...