"And it came to me then, that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time." DCFC

I can be a bit of an obsessive planner/thinker. No, I'm not the person that makes an itinerary for a trip but if it makes me uncomfortable or I am unsure about a situation (and that's almost always), I try and plan it out in my head. I have been known to toss and turn into the wee hours of the morning, trying to see all angles of a situation. As you can imagine, this has a very low success rate. I find the more I try to anticipate the unexpected, the worse the outcome tends to be. So I have been obsessing over timing lately. We have all heard that timing is everything. But I hate to think that there is so much out of my control. I would like to think that you make the right timing. Ideally, if an opportunity came about, like say, a great new job in a new city, wouldn't you force yourself to do it? Even if the timing might be wrong? Perhaps your mom is ill and you don't want to leave her (hopefully this would never happen) but wouldn't you at least try and explain to the company the situation and get something figured out? Or maybe move your mom with you? Of course this is situation based but come on, if you want something bad enough, wouldn't you do your damnedest to make it work? But that's just it, you have to really want it and until you pull out all of the stops, you really don't.
But timing can be such an important thing. I have witnessed this in my life recently. It's very humbling and disheartening to think that a day or a month can have such an impact on your growth as a human being. I feel like I have aged ten years in a few short months. The realizations about the people I have always put first are just alarming. I used to think that loyalty to the people that you care about was the most important thing. That sounds noble but when those people aren't doing the same, it ends horribly. Friends can be a wonderful addition to your life but you have to be very careful about how you categorize them and treat them accordingly. I considered people that I partied with to be my friends, and the truth is, they were just people that I partied with. They should never have been number one on my list of priorities but too many times I placed them there. It's only when the booze stops flowing and real life happens that you find out they were never your friend. And here we get back to timing. If I would have figured this out months ago, I maybe wouldn't have made some poor decisions. But sadly that's just how it goes, no matter how much planning or thinking you do, some things truly are out of your control.